school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
the gays at disneyland are vicious
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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