That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
