You can't motorboat a personality
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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