i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
