i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
