He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
