Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
The power of my boobs compel you
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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