So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize