I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize