FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
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Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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