I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
