Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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