I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
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The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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