I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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