But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
