But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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