Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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