Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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