what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's just like the Real World with babies
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
