We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
