I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I am one with the molecules
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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