yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
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I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
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Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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