You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
