I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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