I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
