Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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