how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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