YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
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Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just found puke in my bra..
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
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there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.