Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.