so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.