dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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