Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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