You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
