i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
