fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
