Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
