At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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