brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
