spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
