i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize