To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
