it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
