i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
