I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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