bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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