tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
