he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
