I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
