she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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