My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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