rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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