the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize