I'm lost and stupid without you.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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