You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
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He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
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