pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
