Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
