I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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