you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.