did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha