She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.